Restless

Image credits http://www.cutehappyquotes.com/ Will be removed if cutehappyquotes has issues

Your messages
Why don’t they arrive!

For the past hour
Every now and then
I have picked the phone
With eagerness.
Unlocked it
Disappointed
Locked it again.
Logged on the computer
Refreshed the page
A hundred times.
Ah.
That ting-tong I heard
Raises me a bit.
I unlock only to see
That stupid promotional thing.
Disappointment hits hard.
I can not stay quiet.
I can not call you even.
I can not do a thing
Except reading
Our history.
Documented word by word, in the logs
Your smileys, how cute they appear
Interspersed between the lines
Here and there.
As if you really loved.
Really cared.
But,
It’s been fifteen minutes
And you have not replied yet.
17 to be precise.
Maybe you don’t care.
But maybe you do.
This is a thin straw of probability
And I cling to it
Dearly.

Then brilliantly I do it again.
Over and over
Locking unlocking
Picking up
Putting down
Refreshing
Re-reading the history.
History has never appealed to me.
History is mostly made up
By powerful people.
But not this one
We are not powerful people.
Atleast I am not.
This one is not made up.
It is true to every word, comma, colon
Asterisk, brace, exclamation mark and those dots..
Which mean nothing but mean so much.
Possibilities period.
I move in my chair
Try to rock it
Try to spin it around
Unlike the pending assignments
I can not shrug you off.
Nor the thoughts of you.
You do have power
Power over me.
Wait!
You are powerful.
Is this history made up too?
Deliberately edited when live?
And its been more than thirty minutes now.
No, this could not be true
XOXO’s were only for me.
That straw might be thin
But it is strong.

As they say history haunts
But this history solaces
If only for a while.
I realise now
Ticks, single or double
Both can pierce with their rather blunt edges.

In all this
Unlocking locking and refreshing
I am trapped.
Stale as the chat history
Locked as if in a time warp
Restless.
—————————————————————————————————-
Image credits http://www.cutehappyquotes.com/

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